Posts from — May 2007

You’ve heard about it. People say your life will change once you are married, or have your first child. I thought I understood what they meant. No…unfortunately I don’t.

All my life, I’ve never been the one who afraid of dying. I don’t care much for my health or my life. Why would I need to? I just need to enjoy every minute, every day of my life without having to care about anything. I don’t care what I eat as long as it tastes good. I know my wife is capable of living without me by her side. She could take on anything in the world by herself. That thought made me even more careless about my life.

Things have changed…

I’m scared of dying. I’m afraid I would die before my wife and kid could take care of themselves on their own. It’s more like an instinct rather than a rational thought. I think it embedded in all animal gene or DNA. You have to live your life long enough to carry and create your legacy.

I remember why I hated English class or English language so much back when I was in Thailand.

I took a look at a friend’s English grammar book(which is in Thai.), and it was horrible, such a bad way of learning English. There’s a lot of explaining rather than examples or contexts. It’s so hard to understand how to use grammar if you didn’t have any good example to look at.

Here’s one of the lesson in the book:

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Present Perfect (Have + V3)
I have run for 30 kilometers.
Present perfect tense emphasizes on the result NOT the action.

Present Perfect Continuous (Have + been + Ving)
I have been running.
This type of tense emphasizes on the action NOT the result.

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What kind of BS was that? The examples were bad. The explanation was confusing. And we were forced to remember something we didn’t even need to know. (This type of tense is called “present perfect continuous endless loop…” such and such.)

That’s the main reason why I have bad grammar. yea… blame it all on the English teachers.

Ok… I did a search and I found a better tutorial on the subject here and here.

Yes, I am going to be a dad in about 8 months.

I’m happy I’m going to be a dad. However, I don’t think I’m really excited like I should’ve been. A few people were even more excited than me after they knew the news.
Maybe the idea of being a dad is not sinking in yet. I have to give it some time to let it really grow on me.
Do I worry about my life and my family, you ask? Not at all! I’m an optimistic guy. I’m hopeful and I know that we can take on anything in the world and come out on the other end happy.

Watching the expressions show on their faces is very interesting. For some people who know us a little more than just an acquaintance, they’ll pause their reaction a little, thinking if they should be happy with me or sympathize with me. Most of them would just stay as normal as possible, wait and analyze my words if I appeared to be happy or not. If I seemed to be happy, they’ll be happy for me, of course.

It’s probably because they know that my life situation is less than perfect. It’s nowhere near the equilibrium. And what would this new addition do to my state of life right now? Who knows?

All I know is that I was just ready the moment I knew I was going to be a dad.

I’m getting more excited by minutes really.